Joseph Elmer Allen 1920 - 1995

This poem reminds me, dad, of the differences between us nuanced by the ties that bound us:

YOUR COLOR (Hilda Morley)
More in some ways than when you were alive, I try to please you,
to find I am of your way of thinking,
as with these red carnations: they're your color.
For myself I'd always
chosen white, saying--
that red's too strong for thinking
in a room, too much.
But now I love these flowers,
having grown, these years ("mourning" they said),
more into what you wished:
a clearer form now, seeing
this redness (suspended) above green stems as thumbprints of Mediterranean
earth that you belong to, crop of heart's blood on
this city's grayness,
this room's whiteness.

And now, in no special order, some of the things I learned from my father that made a difference in who/what I am:

1. Perseverance in hard times - do what needs to be done.
2. How to make a bed, military style with squared corners
3. How to clean a bathroom spic 'n span with 'elbow grease'.
4. How to iron a shirt, military style:
a. front & back of collar
b. back of shirt
c. sides of shirt including front and back of button areas
d. sleeves, folding at shoulder for a nice crease down the side
e. redo the collar to finish the shirt, hang on hanger, button top button
5. How to pour cement to make a driveway or parking area
6. How to mow and edge a lawn
7. Philosophy of leaving a place better than you found it - apply to all
things big and small.
8. Sense of humor, laughter is good for the soul.
9. How to play cards and board games.
10. How to have fun while working, how to work even if its not fun.
11. Why its important to notice the beauty of nature, even if it seems
boring as a teenager.
12. How to fly a kite.
13. How to bottle fruit
14. The joys of eating homemade rice pudding
15. How to live up to whatever standards you've set for yourself.
16. Respect for other people, other cultures, other religions.

Thanks dad...

Joseph Elmer Allen August 3, 1920 - February 15, 1995